Wrapped up feelings

I dont know why but I feel like it ,
I cant hold on so much in my chest
You know the feeling that you take so much pain in that you cant take it anymore?
You keep thinking and thinking why me?
Where did I go wrong?
I have nobody to talk to and tell all these feelings
I cant desribe how am feeling
High school was not so great
I lost everyone LITERALLY all my friends
What have I ever done?
I was always there for them through thick and thin but they never were
Imagine you are surrounded by your friends crying your heart out but they dont even give a damn they chat and laugh instead
How heartless
How cruel
What kind of friends are you
Now that am alone I hate school so much
Since the moment I enter I feel like I dont exist
How cruel they dont even give a fuck
Because they are not in my place they think life is easy when you havent been through what others did I was amashed of being seen alone
I dont even know how to socialize anymore I lost myself im afraid of facing reality I hated my life so much it sucks all I can do is pray and cry my eyes out and ask god for happiness because I know when nobody is there god will be there for me
I was so sad that teachers wondered what was with me
Being alone made me over think and I feel like crying but I swallow my tears everyday I go through this everyday but I act like nothing is going on when everything is bothering me sometimes I get tired of pulling a smile I used to return home every night and cry and cry and cry ..
Imagine sitting and your surronded by bunch of freinds having fun and your just sitting there and wondering why cant I have that what did I do to you people why nobody is welcoming me I always welcomed everyone I felt sorry for the lonoey people cause I know what it feels like but when I became alone who gave a damn? NOBODY I feel like the world will collapse on me fuck this cruel society selfish bitches but ive learned alot

1.never trust anyone with your darkest secret
2.never help someone because they will use you and throw you away
3.Violence doesnt solve anything
5.Smilling&ignoring are the best weapons
6. Dont get revenge just let it be and god will take care of it(الله لا يهمل ولكن يمهل)
7. You have to have no care
8.you have to make a space and pace out a little from your friends because the truth everybody leaves
9.Dont get close or attached to anyone
10. YOU need to learn to be Indepent the truth is that nobody will benefit you at the end

:)